I'm Sure You've Been Here... I'm Having A Day...

It's been one of those days...
You know the days I am talking about...
You hit the snooze button about 10 times before FINALLY getting out of bed...
You hope to sneak in a cup of coffee before the kids wake up, but realize that they are already awake, and by the fussing and whining you can tell that they should have stayed asleep longer...
They demand breakfast the second you come in their room, and as a matter of fact, the toddler wants to nurse and wont take no for an answer. She's teething.
When you're finally done nursing, you hurry to fix breakfast, and with each move you hope that you don't detonate a ticking time bomb that is your children.
You fail and the toddler throws a huge fit. Your coffee cannot be made quick enough.
You finally have the children settled with their breakfast, or so you think.
Just as you're about to sit and enjoy your breakfast, the toddler decides that she wants more.
So you get up and pour her some more cereal, but then she decides that isn't what she wants, and she goes to the refrigerator and points up at it. You ask her what she wants and she just points and whines...
So you have three guesses... Milk? No... Juice? Yes... Juice... Ok cool.
Then you think you're off the hook as you go back and sit down to finish your breakfast and nope... Toddler is not happy again. So, you sit her in time-out and she throws a huge fit, again.
While this is all happening, the preschooler is in her own little world, eating her breakfast and dumping milk on the table, and starts drawing pictures in her spilt milk.
Finally you drink down the last of your coffee and throw your gym clothes on, change the toddlers diaper, and get her dressed.
You pick out a pair of shoes but she doesn't want to wear those ones... Or the other 5 pairs you pick out... So you take a break from that and go get the preschooler so that she can get dressed. You tell her that its not time to mess with you because of the terrible time you had with the toddler.
You pick out her clothes, and she attempts to throw a fit. So you bribe her and tell her that she wont be able to go to her friends house if she continues to throw a fit. She stops... Back to the toddler.
You find her sitting on the floor in front of her closet trying to put on her shoes... You know which ones... The SAME pair you tried putting on her in the first place.
You have the kids brush their teeth as you grab your belongings and put them in the car.
You grab up the toddler to put her in the car, only to find that your darling husband has parked the car too close to the garage wall, so you bring toddler back into the house, back out the car, and proceed again.
Ok, kids in the car. Off to the gym.
Get to the gym and find out class is cancelled... No biggie. Lets see if theres another class. Ok great, there is. Spin. We have a love hate relationship. Hate when I'm doing it, but love how I feel after. I got this...
Take the kids to the childcare area, and get to the cycling room just as class is starting.
After an awesome time in Spin class, you grab a protein shake and head to the sauna for some more me time before grabbing the kids to go home.
You get home and proceed to make the kids lunch, but the toddler wants to nurse... Again...
So you nurse, and take this time to relax, meanwhile the preschooler is telling you how hungry she is and wont stop talking about her friends house. She wont let you forget... Nope.
So toddler finishes nursing, or so you think... You put her down and she throws a fit, but you go prepare lunch anyways.
While lunch is cooking, you decide this is a good time to get a little more exercise in.
So, you turn on Youtube and start doing your workout... All while trying not to trip over little people.
Ok, food is done. You put the food on the plates and take it to the table and set it in front of said little people... Of course the toddler is not satisfied, so you pour each little person a glass of milk, chocolate milk to be exact. You decide to finish your workout without any disruptions... Or try to anyways.
Nope. Not going to happen. You keep tripping over the little people that are finished with their lunch, so you do the cool down.
Toddler is fussy again so you decide that both kids need naps.
Preschooler reminds you again that you said she could go to her friends house, and throws herself to the floor because she has to take a nap first and its not fair. You remind her that she needs to nap and then she can go to her friends house. So she goes to your room and lays on your bed. You don't care where she lays down to nap, as long as she does not wake up the toddler.
Speaking of the toddler... You go put her in her crib which you recently converted into a toddler bed and she gets out of course, screaming and crying because naps are so horrible. (You think to yourself, trust me kid... You'll enjoy it when you're older) So you nurse toddler once again in hopes that it will make her drowsy enough to lay down and fall asleep.
Nursing is done, so you lay her down and she fusses. So you pat her back until she stops, and then you take a stuffed animal or whatever you can find, and place it where your hand was... Maybe she wont notice. Ok, she doesn't. You're all good. Leave, Now!
So you go to leave the room and that stupid door squeaks. You keep telling yourself you need to grease the door. Luckily she doesn't wake up so its all good.
So then, you take a deep breath and look at the clock to see how much time you have before both kids will be up and throwing their fits again...
You see piles of laundry around the house... Dishes in the sink... You haven't eaten lunch, and you are exhausted. A nap sounds so good, but so does a clean house. What do you pick? What will help your sanity? A clean house? Ok... Lets get to work. But first, you think, let me write this blog.... Ok, you're good. You got it off your chest.
If you made it to the end, you're awesome. This was my day, all before 1:30PM. I am sure I missed a lot of important details but my point is... Being a SAHM is hard... It might not physically be as hard as most jobs out there... But mentally... Man.  I am worn out. But I am strong. I can do this. I do it every day and I am still kickin'.  Momster may have come out today already, but that doesn't mean she has to stick around... So I'll take another deep breath and let her leave, and hopefully when the kids wake up, it will just be happy mommy hanging around.

As I end this let me just say, my blogs wont always make sense... The punctuation and format wont always be perfect, and that is ok... I am getting things off of my chest so that I dont carry them around with me and explode later.

Do You Hear That? It's Quiet

Here I am on a Tuesday afternoon, and everything is getting to me. I am the type of person that really needs things quiet in order to even hear myself think. I often find myself feeling extremely irritable when I am trying to focus on something and I can't because every little noise seems overwhelmingly loud.
I was sitting here trying to make a grocery list, all while trying to prepare myself something for lunch, and I had just set the girls down with their lunches. Of course they didn't want what I had put on their plates. And they wouldn't let me forget that they "needed" juice for the umpteenth time. And then the toddler decided that she didn't want to sit in her high chair, but that she wanted to sit at the little table so she was throwing a conniption fit.  I had to move her to the little table and sit her down, and of course that wasn't good enough either because there was something else she wanted, but she didn't know what, so on went her fit. I decided that she needed a nap, so I put her in her crib. She cried like someone was torturing her, like she always does. Then I put the preschooler in my bed to lay down for a nap. She asked me what I was going to do, and I told her that I would be eating my lunch and then cleaning. Sadly all I wanted to say was that it was none of her business, or not to worry about what I was going to do...
I went to the kitchen and sat down here in front of my computer and just sighed. Oh, how I wish that I could just let things go and not become so terribly irritated by the sounds that my children make. The whining, the screaming, the fussing, the fighting... The sounds they make when they want something... These days I pray for silence. I pray for complete silence so that I can hear myself think again. But today, I wondered something... I wondered, in 14, 15, 16 years from now... Am I going to pray for silence then? Am I going to pray that my kids just be quiet and leave me alone for five minutes? The sad thing is, I probably wont have to pray for silence then. I will be BEGGING my children to talk to me. I will miss the days when they would talk to me every five minutes and I would probably be praying to have those days back.
How I wish that I could find the joys in motherhood again... Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy being a mother most days, but I feel like I am doing something wrong. How can I give my children the world and they are still so unhappy or unsatisfied? What wrong turn did I take? Why can I not find peace in my home? I would love to wake up one morning and have everything go smoothly. No fussing toddler wanting milk right.this.second, no panicking preschooler that can't figure out how to put on her shoes the right way... No frazzled mama wishing she knew how to get this motherhood thing down pat.
The truth is, I will never be a perfect mama. I repeat, I will never be a perfect mama... And as long as my children are young, I will probably never experience a peaceful morning. I will probably never get quiet time other than when my children are napping. All I can do is soak up the quiet that I do have, and embrace the loud now, because before I know it, these loud moments will be just a memory of the past.

Step Into My World

Hello, and welcome to my blog about my experiences in Motherhood.
If you're a mother, you will know all too well about the many challenges, but also the great joys that come with having children. Whether you experience more joys, or your life as a mother has been faced with an abundance of challenges, my hope is that you will be able to relate to what you read here. Being a mom is not always easy, and can be downright ugly at times, but its the support and ability to relate with other moms going through the same thing that make the ugly times bearable. Its comforting to know that you are not alone, and trust me, I've had my fair share of feeling like I was the only mom that has ever dealt with some of the things that I have. I am here to tell you that you're not alone, and chances are there is someone out there who has been through it too.

My motherhood journey began on October 10, 2012. My husband and I were blessed at 2:34AM on a humid Texas morning, with our first little bundle of joy. Our sweet little Bryelle Marie. She was such an easy baby and motherhood came easy with her. Of course we had our share of projectile spit-up, and sleep regression, but for the most part, life as her momma was just so amazing. Even into her toddler years she was just so easy-going and our times together were happy.
In 2015 we were blessed yet again on the 6th evening in January to another little baby girl. Isabelle Grace. I should have known that we were in for it with the ease of my pregnancy with her. It was a total breeze. Once she was born, that is where the real "fun" began. She was extremely needy from the day we brought her home. Fussy did not begin to describe her temperament. Now, as a toddler, she is still very clingy and needy, but she is very bright. She is still learning to communicate what she needs and often becomes frustrated if she cant. She is very different from her older sister, yet I think they feed off of each other now, because my once calm and peaceful baby and toddler has become a very difficult preschooler. Thus, what brings me here today...

Continue reading periodically for glimpses of what my experiences as a mother are like on a daily basis.